Cambodian Delight

BAT IN BAGUETTE, AND OTHER LOCAL DELICACIES

If you thought your office cafeteria sucks, think again. The snacks on display at the afternoon markets of Phnom Penh, Cambodia would – in comparison – make an overcooked Broccoli seem like a juicy Porterhouse. Caramelized Grasshoppers? That’s for the feeble-hearted! Are you brave enough to try a boiled Chicken embryo – beak and feathers included? Or perhaps a deep-fried Tarantula?

Yes, we’ve tried them all, and somehow lived to tell the tale.
(Perhaps because we skipped the raw bats…)

Twilight Zone on the banks of the River Mekong

It’s the evening rush hour. As the sun sheds its last scarlet rays onto the deep murky waters of the grand river, the wide colonial boulevards of Phnom Penh are transformed. Orchestrated to the buzzing sound of tens of thousands of speeding scooters, the city street peddlers open what must be one of the most exotic food markets this side of the galaxy.

All along the grand promenade overlooking the Mekong, the residences of Cambodia’s capital city are busy cooking, haggling, and munching. Of course, one can find the usual stuff like Pork Chops on the grill, poison-colored candies, butcher stand (no refrigeration), fishmonger (ditto), and the occasional Baguette – a rare culinary legacy from almost 50 years of French colonial rule. These, however, are the obvious. The locals, rushing back from work, stop here for something with a bit more punch.

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I grab my camera and join the fray. An elderly lady nearby sells waterbugs and cockroaches. There must be a thousand of them arranged in nicely ordered heaps. I get closer to notice none of them crawl out of its place. I guess they must be all dead.

On another stand nearby, a mom and her small kid inspect a bucket full of grasshoppers. I assume the young guy was a good kid that day because his mother hands to him – a big smile on her face – a rolled-up piece of paper full of large chewy insects. He looks happy too as he starts to nibble them away is if they were freshly fried Falafels.

Chicken, please

Deciding this kind of stuff is a bit too much, even for a reckless tourist like me, I turn away from the insect section and go on to explore more traditional items. “How about a chicken?” Asks my guide and hands me a warm chicken egg. “What so special about a hard-boiled egg?” I ask. He cracks the shell open to reveal a pre-born steamed chick inside. It looks like something right out of an Alien movie. I politely pass the opportunity and opt instead for the deep-fried crunchy version, which looks slightly less revolting.

I chew it whole. It’s disgusting – like eating a sandy goo mixed with sharp toothpicks and slime. Many years later, the awful taste is still as vivid as it was. Pride (with an ample dash of stupidity) forces me to swallow the whole thing instead of spitting it out and rush to the nearest available water source.

The whole place looks like a wildlife collection gone bizarre. A bunch of dead bats are lined up on the pavement waiting for a passing connoisseur to make soup out of them. The lady nearby sells them stuffed in a freshly baked Baguette, which still doesn‘t make them appear even slightly more appealing. Some dead, dried mammal is pegged on a stick and hung above one of the pedestals. I think it was some monkey, or perhaps a civet? It’s hard to tell. Just to confirm that everything in life is relative, a stand sporting a giant, severed head of a pig, intestines, and other parts looks unexpectedly tame and almost edible. 

Hairy Tarantula

Somewhat disappointed with my lack of grit, I returned to the main thoroughfare and persuaded by my guide to try one last thing. He makes a wager and challenges me to try something genuinely hairy – a giant, deep-fried, black, ugly, Mothe****ing Tarantula. As I write these words, I cannot seem to remember what the wager was about. I do remember grabbing the spider and bite a meaty chunk off it….

… The taste? Actually, not that terrible. It’s a bit like fried pitta bread, but with no garlic. A taste of cheap, crunchy cooking oil. A true delicacy compared to the above-mentioned chick embryo.

“Did this, done that,” I tell myself, and head across the street to eat some Pizza.

For more Cambodian adventures read the below posts:
*  Meet the craziest capital city
*  Surviving a Cambodian heatwave
*  Fishing the river for Dolphins
*  Four tricks to create a photo that fools everyone